The Abusive Video Shop Owner

Part of the reason for my coming to America, aside from mending my broken heart from a failed relationship with my first and only Filipino boyfriend who cheated on me was also to start a new life.  I was hoping to look for a new job though my arrangement with my former employer, a humanitarian agency based in Geneva, Switzerland was to come here for vacation and decide if I will accept another tenure with them for another 3 years.  They gave me a 3-month vacation, two months were paid and the last month was unpaid.  I came here in the US with $7,000 cash in my pocket hoping that it will be enough for the next 3 months while I look for a permanent job.  My foster parents in Chicago, Nanay Gina and Tatay Bing, as well as their 2 children Farida and Eros, were very nice to me and treated me like a part of their family.  While I was not having any luck in finding an employer to sponsor me for a visa, Tatay Bing suggested a part-time job for me in his friend’s video shop.  His friend’s name was Erning, a nickname for his full name of Ernesto.  I was told that Mang Erning (“Mang” is a term used as a sign of respect for an older man), as Farida and Eros would address him, is married to Aling Elena (“Aling” is a term used as sign of respect for an older woman)  and they have two sons, Elton and John.

Mang Erning agreed to meet up and speak to me like an informal interview as arranged by Tatay Bing.  It was Friday afternoon at 5:30pm and Tatay Bing drove me to a small one floor business establishment along Touhy Avenue in Lincolnwood.  The video shop was in the same building where other businesses such as a pet shop, a fitness studio, a beauty salon, a chiropractor clinic and other small establishments are located.  Mang Erning appeared to be a man with machismo with the way he shook my hand with a firm shake as Tatay Bing introduced me to him.  I got the impression that he is a disciplinarian by the way he looked at me and it felt like he was examining me from head to toe.  Few more exchanges of pleasantries between the two men and the deal was sealed.  It was agreed that I will be starting the following day, Saturday, at 2pm up to closing time at 10pm.  I was told that they have a part-time student who worked from 10am to 2pm who I am relieving with my schedule.  Another employee works in the same schedule as mine but I was told that he only works on Tuesdays and Fridays, which leaves the remaining 4 days of the week to me as Sunday is a family schedule where Mang Erning, the wife and the youngest son attend to the business.  “Sounds good!” I said to myself.  Not bad for a $5.20 an hour; at least I have some money coming in to my pocket while I am looking for a permanent job as an accountant.

I took a shower at 12pm after eating lunch prepared by Tatay Bing of steamed long beans and fried Tilapia with a dipping sauce made from a mixture of vinegar, crushed garlic and soy sauce which is a common dipping sauce back home in the Philippines for any fried meat or fish.  I don’t want to be late and I have to make an impression to my boss who I think was not impressed with me but was only forced because of his friendship with Tatay Bing.  I am starting to feel uneasy by the thought that he will scrutinize me with every little thing that I do but Farida was so quick to tell me as she drove me to the workplace that everything will be fine and if it is any consolation Aling Elena, the wife, is so sweet.  “Pray that she will always be the manager during your shift instead of Mang Erning” she said.  Sure enough with a bit of a luck my and Farida’s prayer was answered, Aling Elena was there to welcome me on my first day.  A very sweet lady who took notice of me, “Nice and sweet boy” she said.  “And very courteous” she added due to my use of “po” and “opo” which are Filipino words used to be affixed to another word or sentence to denote respect.     She said “You were raised properly by your parents because you have good manners and excellent conduct.”  Impression she believes of a sweet Catholic boy raised with love and fear of God.  She then continued “I have a son like you”.  He is very nice and follow everything his mother says.

Aling Elena taught me everything I needed to learn from stacking the videos, the procedures for release and returns of videos, how to conduct proper manner when you talk to customers, how to operate the computer system to make updates and how to operate the cash register, among other things.  This lady is a darling, very patient with me and treats me like either a friend or a son, I would guess.  Whenever it is quiet in the video shop and not many customers come in we would always talk about anything, from my family back home in the Philippines, to her family here in the US and in the Philippines, to my life before I came here, to her husband and sons, and anything under the sun.  At last I found somebody who does not make my life miserable when it is my shift at the video shop.  Mang Erning on the other hand is very cold to me.  He doesn’t even smile when I greet him “Magandang hapon po” (which translates to Good Afternoon) or “Kumusta po” (which translates to How Are You), or even acknowledge my greetings.  Most of the time he will tell me to put my bag down and change to my uniform.  “There is a lot of things to do here”, he used to yell.  There is not one time that he did not yell at me.  Most of the time he insults me and make fun of me being slow and acts like a “sissy”.  Simple things you cannot do it right, he will always say to me.  Sometimes he will tell me that I will not be successful here in America because I am so soft and he doesn’t think I have the strength to keep up with other professionals here in the US.  He said he could care less about my CPA license in the Philippines, it is not recognized here in the US anyway, a big contrast to what Aling Elena always says that she believes I will be able to pass the CPA licensure examinations here because I am a smart person.

Aling Elena would always complement me whenever she gets a chance to say it.  She said I am a fast learner and we always have a nice chat towards the end of the shift as I say goodbye to her in the evening.  I would walk from Touhy Avenue to North Keystone every night.  On good nights the 15 to 20 minutes walk feels nice on a brisk evening.  On bad nights it will seem like hell if it rains or when there are dogs that bark at me from the houses I passed by.  One Thursday evening at about 8:30pm, Aling Elena said that we don’t have to order food because she brought dinner.  Not a lot of people came by to borrow or return videos so we had a good chat.  She said she liked me very much because she reminds me of her older son.  She said she is very fond of Elton although she equally loves her two sons.  Elton works as an English teacher in Japan and that makes her worry about him being far.  But my stories about being in Africa makes her feel better because she knows if I survived in the worst places in Africa her son would make it there in Japan as it is a better place than where I came from.  John, the youngest son, is a college sophomore taking up Computer Studies.  She said that John is close to his father contrary to his brother Elton who Mang Erning never had anything good to say about and are always arguing about him being an English teacher in Japan.  She said Mang Erning wanted Elton to be a soldier or a Navy sailor but the boy never took interest in any of it.  That night she was teary-eyed opening her heart out to me.  She said she wanted her son to be successful like me and that she can see the resilience in me to reach for my dreams which is the same thing she sees in her son.

When I came that Saturday afternoon for my shift Mang Erning called me from the back room and told me to clean the bathroom.  I said I believe that is not a part of my job.  “You are working for me” he said.  “I can make you do anything I want to.  I don’t pay you to just sit your ass there and do nothing but stare at the wall.”  Change into your uniform and do as you are told.  That moment it was clear to me that this man hates me.  I reasoned that the bathroom is cleaned by the housekeeper employed by the janitorial company contracted by the building management so no one in the video shop crew is obligated to clean it.  I can see in his eyes that his rage inside him was going strong but he could not say anything anymore but to let me change in my uniform and go back to my station to assist some customers who are returning some videos.  That night I did the closing as usual but Mang Erning was quiet as opposed to the nights when he would give me a hard time by rattling me or calling me names.  After changing to my regular clothes, I approached Mang Erning and said “I am sorry about this afternoon.  I did not mean to be rude to you but I was just reasoning out.”  He just nodded.  I then continued that “I wanted to tell you that I am resigning effective tonight as I have decided I will go to New York city and try my luck there.”  I was expecting for him to insult me but he looked at me and quietly said “Good luck!”

It was Sunday morning, Farida asked me if I am ready to go to church with them.  The mass starts at 11am in Queen of All Saints Basilica in city center Chicago.  She said it will only be me and her and her girlfriend, Rosanna, since her mom has an extended duty at the hospital where she works.  While she was driving I told her about the story in the video shop the day before and that I already resigned since Mang Erning was very abusive to me.  The only person who cares about me and treat me well was Mang Erning’s wife Elena.  It was then that she said there is a story that she did not mention to me about Mang Erning and his family for fear that her father will get upset and think she is spreading gossip about Mang Erning’s family.  It was about Elton, the eldest son.  Farida said that Mang Erning was not in speaking terms with Elton and is blaming his wife for the son.  I asked Farida “What’s wrong with Elton?”.  She steadied her handle on the steering wheel and turned to me saying “Elton is gay!”.  There you go, that is exactly the reason why.  Both Mang Erning and Aling Elena saw their son in me.  He may be in Japan right now but my presence in the video shop reminded them of Elton.  Mang Erning on a bad way evident by his verbal abuse and the way he treated me like a low life; and Aling Elena in a good way evident by her showering me of all the compliments and warm treatment like a mother or a friend.  I could not blame them but “Being gay is not Elton’s fault and certainly not a sin” I told Farida.  You and I and your girlfriend Rosanna is a living proof of that.  We got out of the car and went up the stairs leading to the door of the church.

That night, Tatay Bing called me from the basement and said that while we were at the church Mang Erning came by and brought my wages.  He handed it over to me: $166.40, the worth of the week’s wage.  He said that he heard about the story and said he could not blame me for resigning and for deciding to try my luck in New York city.  Not sure how much of the story was communicated to him by Mang Erning but I said to myself it is best that Tatay Bing never knew the abuses I suffered from Mang Erning as it will only destroy their friendship.  After all, now it all make sense to me why Mang Erning and Aling Elena reacted that way to me.  My appearance in the video shop resurrected Elton who was gone from their eyes for a while and both have opposing feelings about it.  But still it does not justify Mang Erning’s abuses to me or to his son Elton.

Mang Erning and Aling Elena both tried to evade the glaring truth right by their noses of having a gay son and it has made them unhappy covering it with their self denial.  Often, as human beings, we mask our loneliness, disgust, grief or disappointment with tenacity, cheerfulness and strength in the hopes that no one would venture to uncover it. We never realized that in concealing these frailties we are most vulnerable: tears appear even if we hide them behind our smiles, pain shows even if we crack the funniest joke, anger screams from beyond the adoring eyes and sadness peak through the veil of laughters. We must learn to accept the truth even if it means pain and suffering will be the consequence; for we know it is only temporary until we gather our strength, regain our composure, stand firm and move through the direction where the sun and moon shine its light in this road called life. It is only in truth that we are set free.  Parents breathe life to their children but at the proper time children will choose their own destiny hoping their parents will be there at the portals to give them away when it’s time to fly in their own wings.  I am sure Elton will be happy if only his father and mother will support the life he chose for himself and not be judged because he is gay but be acknowledged for being a good person. As our own Lord said “he that is without sin among men be the one to cast the first stone.”  For who are we to claim righteousness when we can’t even give an ounce of respect and understanding our own family member deserves, let alone the love that they truly need.

Well, time to bed.  Tomorrow is another day.  I have to book my flight to New York.